[marieelizabeth]

i left my husband about a year and a half ago, my baby was about 8 months when we moved out, i knew when my son was born was born i had to leave my husband, he made my skin crawl, hated everything about him and resented him for how much my life had changed since being with him.

I now have what i wanted, my own place, my own life back, living kind of where i wanted but i am more down than ever! i am not doubting my decision to leave, i hate the guy and would never go back there but i cant seem to get happy.

no one around me has any idea how i feel, ive got a very strong independant "happy with my life" front that i put on. i have one close friend but i dont see her very much maybe every couple of weeks, she doesnt live near by. i have lived here for over a year and still no friends, the only people realy in my life is my mum and my son. i am close to my mum i supose but i cant open up to her or tell her how i feel. ive kept all this to myself for ages and feel a bit strange posting it on the internet to strangers but i'll give it shot.

i dont really know what im looking for by posting this, i dont even know what would make me happier, i just seem to be down all the time, il be happy for a day or two then its back to being down again, i hate the way i look, i hate how skint i am all the time, i am gratefull for my son and our health but i would just like a happier life. am i the only person feling like this?