[Alibee and Colleen's mum]

Hi there. Let me start by saying, I know exactly how you feel - at the end of your tether. When I reached that point it was my husband that advised me... His advice was the following... No matter what, you must not show that you are annoyed. (Easier said than done? The first day, yes, I would say so, but children learn really quickly) But, you must show that you mean business -raising your voice without showing anger is a good option. Point out that the behaviour is simply unacceptable. We decided on time outs because, to be perfectly honest, I had got to the point of bottom smacking which wasn't making the slightest difference. And, following the advice that we saw on a tv programme, we give time outs one minute for every year of the child's life. Alistair who is three has time outs for three minutes. Time outs are good because it leaves you the time to breathe and calm down too, the important thing is that it is systematic for the same misbehaviour. We put Alistair in his room and stay behind the door. Once the door is opened we explain briefly, one last time, why he had the time out then he has to say sorry and we hug and give a kiss. All done! We don't talk about it or get annoyed about it any more, even if there is a huge mess to clean up... Also, every person that takes care of your children have to treat them in the same way - it's not very helpful if you don't let your child do something and granny comes round the next day and does allow it - so you have to be firm with everyone., which is not easy either. That was my husband's advice and I really hope it helps you too. Let us know how you get on...
Lots of love,
Rachel