well i wouldnt exactly blame yourself for the little one not being as happy as the other,you know every baby is different.you seem to be looking at a lot of things negativly,as if they are your fault...but they are not! i am really glad that you are going to get it sorted,and try to be strong in not letting your hubby speak over you...try to make sure you get your feelings across to the doc,this is most important,because if you dont,he wont be able to help as well as he should. remember,stay strong! also,glad to hear about the horsy!!see, theres good news,more will come.
x