 how men and women differ! | |
NICKNAMES
> > * If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each
> > other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
> > * If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to
> > each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
> >
> > EATING OUT
> > * When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in £20,
> > even though it's only for £32.50. None of them will have anything
> > smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
> > * When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
> >
> > MONEY
> > * A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.
> > * A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't
> > need but it's on sale
> >
> > BATHROOMS
> > * A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush
> > and toothpaste, shaving
> > cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S.
> > * The average number of items in the typical woman's
> > bathroom is 337. A man
> > would not be able to identify more than 20 of these
> > items.
> >
> > ARGUMENTS
> > * A woman has the last word in any argument.
> > * Anything a man says after that is the beginning of
> > a new argument.
> >
> > CATS
> > * Women love cats.
> > * Men say they love cats, but when women aren't
> > looking, men kick cats.
> >
> > FUTURE
> > * A woman worries about the future until she gets a
> > husband.
> > * A man never worries about the future until he gets
> > a wife.
> >
> > SUCCESS
> > * A successful man is one who makes more money than
> > his wife can spend.
> > * A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
> >
> >
> > MARRIAGE
> > * A woman marries a man expecting he will change,
> > but he doesn't.
> > * A man marries a woman expecting that she won't
> > change, but she does.
> >
> > DRESSING UP
> > * A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the
> > plants, empty the bins,
> > answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.
> > * A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
> >
> > NATURAL
> > * Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
> > * Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
> >
> > OFFSPRING
> > * Ah, children. A woman knows all about her
> > children. She knows about
> > dentist appointments and romances, best friends,
> > favourite foods, secret
> > fears and hopes and dreams.
> > * A man is vaguely aware of some short people living
> > in the house.
> >
> > THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
> > * Any married man should forget his mistakes.
> > There's no use in two people
> > remembering the same thing
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