My diary..

[Charlie_x]

i know i posted a topic some where that i was writing like a diray for my baby and stuff so i thought id post daily what ive wrote in it, im sorry if this is in the wrong section i didnt know where to stick so if u wana move it feel free! i will post the days in differnt replys feel free if u wana comment or u just wana read i dont mind xx

[Charlie_x]

Tuesday 27/11/2007

Today is the first day of many for us, trying for you our darling baby girl or boy, id love a little girl but daddy wants a boy, but either way whatever you turn out to be we will both love and stand by you no matter what you turn out to be.

Tonight when daddy gets home from work were going to the family planning clinic to get my implant removed, im sure by the time you start reading this you will know what one is or maybe even have one yourself if you’re a little girl.

We will be trying for you our baby number one if you’re a girl you will be called Faith LeAnne after Faith Lehane the character from my favourite TV program Buffy The vampire slayer. Obviously id love you call you my little girl Angel and you my little boy Angelus but daddy says no, so if you’re a boy you will be called George Lucas.Grandad Dean loves the name George because it’s English and he thinks faith is to religious but to me you will be my faith in everything.

The reason why I will be writing this to you every step of the way is so you my child will know that no matter what happens myself and your daddy will love you no matter what you do or how you’ve become and your have this to remember us by.

At the moment myself and your father both work at BnQ in Stevenage, maybe when your old enough we wont work there or maybe have moved to Spain or something!! We can wish!
Today is my day off daddy is at work till 4 and we will be going to the family planning at 6 so we can get my implant removed and maybe get some booklets on trying/having a baby im going to see if they will let me take the implant home with me! I bet it looks sick all my flesh will be grown around it!

At this moment in time I should tell you abit more about us cause maybe one day we wont remember much or perhaps you wont know anything about us! In-case anything ever happens to us.

Well myself your mummy, I am 17years old I was born July 1st 1990 in Lister hospital granddad and nanny were together for a bit but he couldn’t put up with nanny so he left her but then nanny fell into love with a bad man and granddad come to get me and I lived with him until I was 13 till I ran away from home, he had married a stupid bitch I didn’t like her id lay awake at night wishing they would get a divorce and when they did I was pleased
I have to brothers called Karl James Dean and Kevin James Dean there your uncles I don’t know if they will be apart of your life because there not apart of mine at the moment but I hope they will for you, Karl loves playing football he is really good from what I can remember and Kevin is learning to play the guitar.
Your aunty is called Debbie she has too kids too! Harrison and Kegan I hope you will all grow up close to them, she had them when she was young to, younger than me! but it doesn’t matter!

I’ve wanted to do this for you so you know that you was planned and you was wanted you wasn’t a mistake, even if you was we’d still want you like we want you now! Daddy is 20 now hes nearly 3years older then me, he looks after me really well sometimes we have silly arguments but I love him lots and with you our family will be complete, we was going to get a doggie, a Alaskan malamute and call her snowball but we decided we wanted you instead, maybe when you’re a bit older we will surprise you one day on your birthday! At the moment we have 3 cats called Archie, Shadow and Gizmo hopefully they will see you grow up too.

Daddy keeps going on about how he wants you to support Aston Villa it doesn’t matter if you’re Faith or George you have to! He cant wait to buy you your first little villain kit I cant wait either! He keeps going to me he better not steal my playstation off me when he grows up!

Maybe if your Faith your grow up to be a singer and a dancer or if your George your grow to be a footballer daddy would be proud if you played for villa! But whatever you both turn out to be we will love you loads!

We’ve already decide how were going to do the bedroom at the moment we live in a 1bed flat in the middle of town the view at night is lovely but its our home and its not complete without you.

I want to paint it blue if you’re a little boy with cute borders and I know where I want everything to go, your crib away from the window so you don’t get cold, if you’re a little girl I want it pink but it wouldn’t be fair for daddy! So maybe were paint it a different colour but your have the best nursery ever.
Your be the best looking baby and make us proud!

At the moment your great granddad has lung cancer it really upset me and shock me up, my dad your granddad he has leukaemia but he has been in remission for about 4years now so he’s slowly getting better and he can see you grow up his first grand child
Your great nanny died from a heart attack I think but she to wasn’t very well either, and my aunty Jacqueline and my uncle David died from cancer I know David would of tried to get you to support West Ham instead!
With everything that has happened lately it has made me think how short life is and how important each moment is! I worked out the other day if I had a child every 2years till I was 35 id have 10kids!!!
I cant wait to hold you in my arms and smell your baby smell, daddy had a weird dream last night that I got up and said im going to do a pregnancy test silly daddy lol I only said im going to the toilet he is very exited to and cant wait to meet you.

I don’t want to breast feed you, I know its meant to better for you but I hope you don’t mind and your grow up to be strong.

Well this is it for the moment ive spent 40minutes writing this out to you I will write later and tell you what happens at the clinic.

Love Mummy x

[Charlie_x]

Tuesday 27/11/2007

12.45pm

I want to see if daddy will let me have your middle name as Angelus if you’re a boy its latin for angel it would be cool if you grew up to be a goth with pure black hair and was a right looker. I will only call you George when your naughty or I might say were take on your last name if you let me have his first name as Angelus I doubt but its worth a try!

Love Mummy xx

4.05pm

Daddy should be home in a bit dinner is nearly done and I keep talking about you to anyone who will listen granddad is going to china on Friday to see his internet girlfriend I hope he will be okay, ive got really bad butterflies im nevious as hell I cant wait im so excited im starting to feel sick, I really want this I really want you!

I Love you my baby

Love your mummy forever xx

[Charlie_x]

Thursday 29/11/2007

Sorry its been a day, just to let you know everything went okay, I was very nervous and really worried but im okay now, everything is back to normal I wana tell everyone but I know we shouldnt. Daddy said hes going to write to you. We’ve decided if you’re a boy were not going to call you George anymore. I spent ages last night begging him and going through names so were now going to call you Leo. It sounds really nice so far we have tried for you 3times since Tuesday obviously we don’t know if its working or not its nearly 7am daddy has to be in for 7 that’s why im up I couldn’t get back to sleep and I kept telling myself I was going to write to you.

Uncle Ade, is coming to stay with us at the weekend, we get paid on Friday I cant wait im going to go out and baby you some bits I cant wait I have the whole week off so I will be looking about I honestly cannot wait to find out that im pregnant with you.

Granddad went to see great granddads doctor and it turns out he doesn’t have a year left only months, not very nice I know but hes old and I know your great nanny will be looking after him and Jacqueline and David. Its scary cause granddad will be the only one left. Hopefuly he wont be leaving us soon.

Im doing 9.30-6.30 today I should get my rota for the new 3 weeks I had a sneak peak yesterday it looks good I was happy with it but its got to be given the okay by bum bender Robert.
Im going to go now because ive got to get ready and make mine and daddys lunch.

Love you always, missing you. ***
P.s … I think daddy fancies another woman at work =[

[Charlie_x]

Friday 30/11/2007

Well pay day to day, got paid a nice amount im working 12.30-9.30 daddy said he will write to you today but I doubt he will.
Getting really moody again lately, I know its not going to be easy and we’ve got to keep trying, Ade comes down tomorrow im soooooooooo going to be involved with everything, NOT. I can’t even go to bed when I want to. I don’t even know what the point of me coming home will be daddy wont even notice im there I wont be able to watch any Lost, I wont be able to do what I want, I wont be able to unwind, I wont be able to get into my nightie and snuggle on the settee I wont be able to eat what I want or ****ing move I might as well just sleep out on the park bench. **** knows what time he’ll go on Sunday I suppose ill have to cook him dinner as well. Well I don’t care really honestly I don’t ill go into town or something on my own. As im doing everything else on my own. Going Asda tonight will have a look at some bits for you, I finish at 9.30pm so wont get home till about 10.30pm 11pm, wont have no dinner so ill go to bed cranky then have to get up early to be in at work for 11.30am takes the piss im not happy.

This year I would like for Christmas;

* Ugly Betty series 1.
* Dr Who Series 2.
* Lost Series 3.
* Christina Aguilera’s Perfume.
* A Really good hair dryer seen one that I want.
* Seen some really cool slipper boots that I want.
* Some nice pjs.
* A new dressing gown.
* A Eternity ring (doubt ill even get it cause daddy wants a stupid ****ing playstation 3)
* And anything else.

And obviously to find out im pregnant.

I think I want this more than daddy, god knows im even bothering with this anyway, cause hes not.
To ****ing busy playing on the playstation and doing ****ing all at least when I say im going to write to you I write to you.

Maybe I should just give up because I know he doesn’t want it, to busy to even bother saying what he feels or what he wants, id like to think, id love to hope that he wants this but I don’t know maybe he doesn’t and hes just keeping shut because its what I want my stupid idea my stupid everything.

Ill try and be more happy next time no point in hiding it.

Love Mum x

[Charlie_x]

Friday 30th November 4:20pm.

Well this is the first time I have wrote to you son/daughter its nice to see how much mummy really thinks of me isn’t it but don’t worry as you grow up you will get used to it. I want you more than anything in this world even if mummy doesn’t think so.

As for tomorrow when your Uncle comes down mummy wont be left out she never is, she just likes to exaggerate and to make daddy look bad like he don’t give a damn.

I am really hoping at the moment that your in mummy’s belly and in 9 months time you will be handed into my arms so I can smell you for the very first time and hear you cry I just hope you remember what im wearing that day cause the first thing you will see is the badge of Aston Villa football club.

The first set of cloths daddy is going to buy you is the villa kit whether you are a by or girl.

I wish mummy wouldn’t swear to much at the end of the day I don’t want you to grow up thinking that them sort of words are ok to use. If daddy ever heard you saying some of the words mummy uses then you would be in trouble. We will both bring you up in the best way we can and we will make sure you have all the best things.

Daddy is going to buy you a Playstation 3 I just guess daddy will have to play on his own or with mummy until you arrive into the world.

I cant wait for you to meet Archie, Shadow and Gizmo, im sure they wont know what’s coming to them when you start pulling on their little tails, but they are looking forward to seeing you.

Anyway my little kiddie daddy is going now. We both love you very much.

P.s Daddy loves mummy to tiny little pieces and wouldn’t change her for the world so ignore her childish remark about me fancying some bi*ch at work.

***x

[Charlie_x]

2nd Jan 2008.

Hello my darling baby girl or boy im sorry its been so long since I last wrote we have been so busy, I am sorry. We had a very nice Christmas and a good new year didn’t get drunk, daddy brought me a gewjus necklace worth like £110 goes with my engagement ring that’s £100 so im wearing like £200 its really nice, well so far im still not pregnant.

I joined a deiting site the other day called cook yourself thin, I watched there show and it was quite good so im going to give that ago cause weight watchers is shit, im like living of rice cakes at the moment lol not really tho im eating proply and besides rice cakes are only 28 cal each any way and besides I want to look my best don’t I lol.

We might be going up to Birmingham to see daddys mumy and daddy his daddy is finaly taking to us now lol, im going to get a cam corder next month daddy is getting a Nintendo wii so that should be nice.


I love you forever x

Mum x

[Charlie_x]

4th jan 2008

Hello again, well im 2 days over due for my period now im hoping its just not later and im pregnant it would be nice im very nervous and I guess I have to wait. I went to the family planning last night to do a test and the women said that I might of just tested to early and to come back in 2weeks if my period hasn’t come, im hoping it’s a positive be a very happy thing for us, mummy and daddy are getting on better this year were trying to argue and its working so far, im off today im working the weekend tho, the doctors have said that grandad dean is now safe to go back to work so that means his transplate worked always nice to hear some good news, I love you x

Love you always

Mum x

[ThatGirl]

so sweet hunny x

[Charlie_x]

cheers hun, ron wrote in it earlier ill have to read it then post it x