doomed

shell · #1 03-02-2007, 11:18 AM

On our first wedding anniversary we sadly lost my grandad & my husbands cousinn. My grandad died in the early hours of the morning after battling cancer. My husbands cousing had been hit by a lorry a couple of days before & was being kept alive by life support machines, the decision was made to tuen off his machine & he died on the early afternoon. Our wedding anniversary was tinged with sadness. Unfortunatley a week & a half before our 3rd wedding anniversary my father in law suffered a massive heart attack & passed away. We buried him the day after our anniversary, the funeral directors wanted the service to be on our anniversary.
We never really enjoy celebrating our marriage as we mourn the losses we have had. We have benn married 5 years now & luckily we have managed to get through the last two anniversaries without anything happening, we just hope we can keep it up

pinkydinkydo · #2 03-02-2007, 12:09 PM

omg hun thats horrid i feel for you. why is it everything sad always happens near or on certain dates & times of the year.....

pinkydinkydo · #3 03-02-2007, 12:11 PM

oh forgot to say each year on valentines day the anniversary of my brothers day both my other half & i go out somewhere for the day...it helps alot as it keeps us occupied from the situation.

shell · #4 03-02-2007, 12:27 PM

I agree with what you have said. I wish I knew why things seem to happen within a certain time of the year etc. We have been away overnight for the last two anniversaries, but at the back of our minds we are always thinking of those we have lost. There is always the fear that something will happen. It not too bad now, we can even laugh about it, it's just surreal. Maybe in a few years we will renew our vows, we could celebrate that date instead!!

petrabynt · #5 03-04-2007, 01:12 PM

move forward, keep the good times alive in ur memory, put the not so good time 2 rest.

from the age of 3 i was raised by my grandparents ( my dads parents)..so i had 2 dads, n a mum (didnt av any contact with my birth mother).
when i was aged 11 my grandad passed away suddenly, on 17th november, a sunday morning.
my dad passed away suddenly just over 3 yrs ago, on a saturday morning, the 22nd november
..my birthday is the 27th november!.. i spent the day with coroners getting my dads body relesed, then up2 the register office n then off complete arrangements with funeral directors.
..there r 5 days btween each death n my birthday, my son's birthday is '5th' january.
.. i noticed on my dads birth cert that my grandmother registere his birth (being 15th october) on '22'nd november, that being the date he also died.
I miscarried my 1st pregnancy, on the '29'th november, my daughters was born 10 yrs later on '29'th december
ive already mentioned my sons birthday being on the '5'th thats january...the EDD 4 BOTH my children was given as the '30'th december, even tho there is a 9yr gap btween them, i am carrying twins presently, their EDD is '9'th september

an old saying most of us r familar with is "when ur numbers up, its up"
...im sorry, this bares no relation 2 this topic, ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TRY NOT TO GRIEVE FOR WHAT U HAVE LOST, BUT DO SPEND ALL UR TIME ON ENJOYING WHAT U HAVE!!!

XX petra

manicmummy · #6 03-04-2007, 08:32 PM

Hi
I am very sorry for your losses and i have complete empathy with you, the last five or so years for us have been bad, we lost my mother-in law to cancer my father-in law has had prostrate cancer, my husbands nan died, my uncle died in a plane crash, my son was born and was very ill with meningitus (now has cerebral palsy, we terminated the pregnancy of my daughter four years ago for a number of reasons. and when my youngest daughter was born in 2004 she contracted Bronchillitus at three weeks old and we nearly lost her. thankfully she is now a happy two and half year old!! You would think surely nothing else could happen give us a break!! but no in January of this year, my husband contracted a viral infection of the heart and has spent time in hospital, he is on the mend now but it was very scary.

I know when it comes round to anniversary's it is very hard, but we have had to move on otherwise we would not cope. I have a faith and i beleiev that io would not have got through all this without prayer and help and support from my church.

I have a saying that was given to me: WE CANT CHANGE THE PAST, WE DONT KNOW THE FUTURE, BUT WE CAN CHANGE THE WAY WE THINK!
I strongly believe in this statement.

Love to you all, i just wanted to let you know you are not alone and if you want to chat anytime let me know.
Karenxx

c.a.cullum · #7 03-05-2007, 11:11 AM

that statement is soo true!! think it wud help a lot if we tried to keep it in mind!! im really sorry to hear all that has happened to every1 and think u r all so strong and wonderful.. not only to have coped wit it but also to be able to share it wit us!! my love is sent to all of u!

best wishes.. xx