loss of love one

[sars]

Its going back a little while but in 2003 i lossed my mother due to cancer.It is hard but you do get through it. My kids gave me the courage to carry on. If anyone wants to chat there are people who understand feel free to chat any time

I lost my sister to cancer in 1996. She was only 31 and left 4 kids behind. It's so hard to get over isn't it, and people really don't like to discuss the "C" word, yet the people I know who have died have mostly died of cancer. It's a terrible disease and shouldn't be such a taboo subject. How are you coping?

[sars]

No one knew my mum had cancer we all thought she was healthy. It was two weeks after my daughter birthday and my son was only six months old it was hard and i do still miss my mum very much. I had to kids i had to cope. How was things for you i agree no one likes talking about it people should be more open bout it .

It was really difficult - I was only 15 at the time. Her children came and lived with us when she was having her chemo and stuff as she couldn't even take care of herself let alone them. It's something you never get over, and I don't think it gets easier either. Yes, time is supposed to be some great fantastic healer but I just hate that every day that goes by is another day longer since the last time you saw them or the last time you spoke.
It was particularly difficult last year as it was 10 years since she died, and then (fantastic and sad news at once) her daughter had a baby daughter in October. She is the first baby of the next generation (making my Dad a great-grandad) and it was beautiful but heartbreaking all at once. My sister would have been such a wonderful grandmother, and equally I think my neice struggled emotionally without her too. It was hard enough for me when I had my babies that she wasn't here, I hate to think what my neice must have been and still is going through.

[sars]

If you dont mind me asking what cancer did your sister have. My mum had bladder cancer. It must be hard for your niece how old is she. I dont know whether i could go through pregancy with out my mum again its times like that when you really miss them are you close to your niece. It was december 1st when my mum went it is hard then cause kids all excited bout xmas So what i do is put tree up to keep my self going. Its the little things you misss when you see people with there mums uptown or friends saying there meeting there mums.

My sister had cervical cancer. My neice is nearly 21, how she has coped I don't know. We are quite close, but only recently as our lives moved in different diurections for a while, me being a mum of 4 and her being young free and single, but since she had Grace I've tried to get over to see her every couple of weeks. My sister's mother has been a great support to her I think, but it's no substitute. I don't know what I'd do without my mum, she's my best friend and always at the end of the phone. I'd like to think that my neice could come to me with anything, but like I said, I'm no substitute either. Do you have family to help you who know what you're going through?

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theres always just been me and my brother my mums family all in wales. And dad never seen. Me and my brother are close he only the next road next to me. I thought my mum would be there forever she was very active she was 61 when she died. I have plenty of friends it not the same as having your mum but there lives go on. At least your niece has you there for her it must of been hard for all of you. Does your niece talk to you about things .

She talks about my sister a lot but she never talks about how she feels about the situation or what growing up without a mother was like. My youngest neice was only 3 when she died so she doesn't remember life being any different which in a way I think is easier for her to deal with but my oldest neice was 11. She has photos all over the flat which is lovely as it's almost like she's there looking over them and when her daughter is old enough she will know what her grandma would have looked like etc.
Are you and your brother close? Does he understand and help you with the way you feel? (I know men can be a bit useless at times!)

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sometimes people find it hard talking about there feelings. Its good she talks about your sister at least she talking. My daughter was just 5 she leaves pictures under her pillow for nanny sort of like the toothfairy. Its nice your niece has photos thats what we do. Chloe misses my mum alot we also have photos up cause alfie was 6 months old i want him to know what she look liked and never forget. My brother is a big help he always know when somethings wrong we get on very well. Sometimes i dont like talking about it cause i know he hurts to.

But sometimes if you're both hurting you don't need to say anything at all as one knows what the other is feeling. It's great that you have him and he is a support to you. I love the idea of the photos under the pillow, never thought of anything like that before.
It's hard to explain things to my kids as she died before any of them were born, and even though we have photos and they know who she was, they can't quite grasp the fact that she was my sister because "sisters don't die, only old people"! It's weird but hopefully as they grow older they'll be able to understand a bit easier.