my big brother

pinkydinkydo · #1 02-19-2007, 12:29 PM

hi in 2005 on valentines day i sadly lost my big brother to suicide. he left 2 children aged 10 & 11 years old at the time. I myself had just had my first (and only!!) child who was at the time 4 months old. This came as you can imagen a great shock to me as i was his baby sister etc. However strangly i became one of the strongest members of my family to deal with it. Not only did i have to cope with my own grief i had to take care of his children for a while who are both adhd and suffered alot i also along with my other brother had to deal with my mum & dads grief which was hard. Anyway i'm getting to the point here !! i truely believe that if my son hadn't arrived when he did i would have been a complete mess but i had to get on with things & make my sons life as normal as possiable. As for my brothers children i have them over every month to stay for the weekend so their mother can have a break. It's been 2 years now & things are that tad better with everyone but i shall never forgive my brother for leaving his children & leaving my son who is now 2 years old not knowing who his uncle was.

sars · #2 02-19-2007, 03:51 PM

know how you feel if i hadnt had my kids dont think i would of coped. My mum died in 2003 my daughter was just 5 and my son 6 months

pinkydinkydo · #3 02-19-2007, 04:16 PM

it's amazing what strenth you actually find in servere circumstances.

dottydon · #4 02-19-2007, 08:15 PM

that is sad-my best friends mum also died on valentines day from suicide-the worst thing is no matter where she goes from the beginning of jan there are reminders everywhere in form of big hearts everywhere.
i understand the never forgiving part-it is something however we will never forgive as we don't understand suicide-time does heal a bit tho-it was 10 yrs this yr for my friend since her mum died it was hard but she is now mourning her not being here rather than hating why she isn't here.

pinkydinkydo · #5 02-19-2007, 08:24 PM

don't get me wrong i don't hate my brother for what he did because i'm a true believer that everything happens for a reason & when your time is up it's up no matter what the situation & to be honest withut sounding cruel to him the way he led his life he is probley better off where he is. I'm just sad that his children have to deal with his mess & that my son will never know who he was

dottydon · #6 02-19-2007, 08:52 PM

i no you don't hate him as my friend doesn't hate her mum-i was saying hate the way they died not them-sorry i don't think i put myself clearly someimes!
it is the mess that is left that is hard-my friends little brother-who at the time was 8-was in the room when her mum died of an overdose. she hates the troubles it has caused for him.
i also believe things happen for a reason but it doesn't make things any easier to bare especially for children.

pinkydinkydo · #7 03-09-2007, 03:09 PM

i been thinking of my brother all day today & benjamin said uncle andy this morning which really shocked me as he was only 4 months old when he died...anyway i just wanted to share my brother with you...god i miss him.

#8 03-09-2007, 04:54 PM

Your brother is around you, that's part of why your son knows who he is, and from you too. Glad you shared him ***

pinkydinkydo · #9 03-09-2007, 04:56 PM

thanxs huni yeah i kind of feel he's around me today as my neck keeps going cold... most prob him blowing on it to annoy me!!!

dottydon · #10 03-09-2007, 05:05 PM

brothers have a knack of knowing how to annoy their sisters!!!
the pic is lovely thanks for posting it honey xx