my nan(i feel guilty)

clare bear · #1 03-13-2007, 10:35 PM

in 2005 my nan became very ill, i went 2 c her everyday in the home,at first nan could talk, but as time passed her chats turned into when she was younger and didnt make any sense.one day i went 2 c nan and she held my hand and said"u understand dont u" i said understand wot nan,she said" its time,i know the way i just need 2 go" as she said that her eyes closed and she took a deep breath, my sis in law was with me at the time(divvy kate)we both started 2 cry as we though nan ad gone.then she said dont cry(nan was blind in both eyes) i then said " nan i understand u please go 2 sleep" a week later i went 2 c nan and she was in a coma, i held nans hand stroked her head and said"luv u nan its time 2 go 2 sleep"1.15 am nan passed away. i feel so quilty now, i feel as if i told my nan 2 die!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i miss her so much.

#2 03-13-2007, 10:42 PM

How is this your fault?! I bet your nan just wanted confirmation that you'd be ok if she left. She was looking out for you right til the end - cherish that instead of feeling guilty for it.

pinkydinkydo · #3 03-13-2007, 10:45 PM

oh babes i'm nearly crying please don't feel guilty i worked with the elderly for 11 years and saw alot of them die & they know when it's ther time to go...i know what you men about the guilt thing the night before my brother died i was saying to my mum & dad that if he's not careful he will be dead before they are (mum&dad) the following day he had hung himself so i know how you feel but please she wanted to go but just wanted to let you know she was going thats all....

clare bear · #4 03-13-2007, 10:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pinkydinkydo

oh babes i'm nearly crying please don't feel guilty i worked with the elderly for 11 years and saw alot of them die & they know when it's ther time to go...i know what you men about the guilt thing the night before my brother died i was saying to my mum & dad that if he's not careful he will be dead before they are (mum&dad) the following day he had hung himself so i know how you feel but please she wanted to go but just wanted to let you know she was going thats all....

cheers pinky,i know nan was ready but i was the only one who wanted her 2 go ( if u know wot i mean)the rest of the family kept willin her 2 hang on.Nan was blind in both eyes,wouldnt eat or drink and she was so tired,i new when nan finally gave in she was out of pain and happy 2 b with my grandad again.The family dont c it like that though

i know nan really new wot i ment, and she wouldnt hold it against me

pinkydinkydo · #5 03-13-2007, 10:55 PM

ppl try to hold on to their loved ones the best they can & rightly so i would have done the same as you hun thers always one person who sees things more clearly than others in difficult circumstance ...chin up hun shes with you & would be proud of you.

clare bear · #6 03-14-2007, 12:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pinkydinkydo

ppl try to hold on to their loved ones the best they can & rightly so i would have done the same as you hun thers always one person who sees things more clearly than others in difficult circumstance ...chin up hun shes with you & would be proud of you.

cheers hun at least i av memories hey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

nutty tart · #7 05-15-2007, 11:16 PM

hi honey as u know about my nan i felt and still do feel that it was the right thing for u 2 let her know that u ave given her ur blessings 2 move on and 2 b come a star in our nite sky. Ive just had 2 do it with my nan, i sat by her side for nearly 5 days b4 she went. The last 3 things that i will never 4get r: i felt her heartbeat , that she passed away with the slipper bootes i had just brought 4 her 4 xmas, and that my aunty, my nan and i had a pinic (she had a drop of juice from an orange). I bet ur nan and mine r aving a good old time up there without us 2 keep an eye on them but dont worry what any1 else thinks u know in ur heart that it was the right thing 4 u 2 say 2 her as it was 4 me 2 say and let my nan go. They may not be here now but they will never leave us fully while we can still laugh and cry about them. all my love and friendship ur mate nutty tart ******************x

clare bear · #8 05-16-2007, 10:19 AM

cheers chick ive got used to the idea of i all now. i know nan was ready coz she told me. she was fed up with the suffering and not being able to see. but thanx for your support. mates 4 eva hey

nutty tart · #9 05-21-2007, 06:31 PM

hi bear u know im always here 4 u and ant 4 t or coffee or just a mad giggle (usually at me when i fall off the sofa!!!!!!!lol) all u need 2 do is ring me or ring my door bell (now i've got 1!!!!!) lol nutty ************xx

clare bear · #10 08-20-2007, 10:32 AM

on the 3rd of september it will be 2 years since my nan passed away.i do miss her but im gonna sound so nasty now, but i feel ive actually got over the loss of my nan. is that nasty? only my mums mum i will never get over, but my dads mum i feel i have. dont get me wrong i will never forget her but, i dont feel i miss her. i feel such a nasty bitch as she was my nan and always will be. but i dont get upset when i look at photos anymore.