what would you do?

[nichola]

I'm feeling sad, & confused.. my daughters father has died, we have had no contact for the last 10 yrs, a mutual friend phoned to tell me today & i burst into tears.
my daughter has a little family of her own now, the youngest only 6weeks. She has never had any contact with her father.
I don't know if i should tell her now so she can go to the funeral, should she wish, or to leave it for now & tell her in the future?

[Charlie_x]

i would tell her now, if you dont it could seriously back fire on you and my result in some harsh feelings between you both, id want to know even if i hadnt known my father id still want that colosure iygwim x

[nichola]

Thanks charlie, she is very emotional at the moment, i will not be attending the funeral, so i don't think she would really want to go. I will tell her, but i can't think straight really, tell now or later?

[Charlie_x]

id just tell her now get it out the way and done with that way you can both grieve x

[lisanotallthere]

Originally Posted by nichola

I'm feeling sad, & confused.. my daughters father has died, we have had no contact for the last 10 yrs, a mutual friend phoned to tell me today & i burst into tears.
my daughter has a little family of her own now, the youngest only 6weeks. She has never had any contact with her father.
I don't know if i should tell her now so she can go to the funeral, should she wish, or to leave it for now & tell her in the future?

Hi there,
I am sorry to hear of this sad situation that has been put your way, It is never easy.

I lost both my parents when I was quite young and I am now about to have my first baby.
I was close to my parents but they had problems which stopped us having a so called "normal relationship"

Its only my opinion however I do believe it is so important to always tell the truth even if people do not like it. As long as your daughter has all the facts then she will be able to make her own mind up as to how she would like to deal with it, I'm sure she will always have you by her side to help her along the way.
I believe to withhold what has happened is not giving her a fair chance to decide how she would like to deal with it and could lead to problems down the road.

It really is never easy but Im sure you will come to the right conclusion.

Take Care Lisa x