does my 6 year old need help?

[happyhappylady]

I have 3 kids, my oldest 2 are to my first husband. my husband was abusive and I left him jan 07. he wasn't very physical, but very aggressive and controlling and my oldest, Jessica, has seen quite a lot of stuff kids shouldn't see. a coupla days after i left him i had to have him arrested and Jessica was terrified. he's also a religious nutter and keeps telling jessica that my new relationship is adultery and that i've hurt God and that i should have forgiven him for all the crap he's put me through. obv this is totally wrong but must be so confusing for her. now she seems to be in her own world - if you talk to her, you have to repeat yourself several time before she responds. she's done this for the last 2 years at least, and i had her hearing checked several times but it's fine. i thought she would grow out of it but if anything it's worse now. I'm with a new partner, and tho he's great with the other 2 kids he's a bit hard on her cos he gets frustrated when she ignores him (i've had words with him about this). she's very confident in other ways but socially doesn't seem clued up and is introverted at times. my counsellor told me i should take her to the doctor but I don't know. anyone got any advice? (p.s. sorry for the long ramble!)

[Lynne]

It seems to have had quite an effect on her. I would ask somebody for advice before visiting your doctor - perhaps your local Sure Start if you have one of those as I know they have help lots of people I know and offer great assistance. If that is no use then visit your doctor. It might be nothing to worry about, but you may as well get her checked just to be sure x

[emmal20]

are u sure that he hasnt sexualy abused her at sum piont? to be honest it sounds like he has i frend of mine had been abused and she put herself on ignore mood for a while she found it hard to tell her mum i wud say try talking wen shes alone n the doctor to gets sum answers im sorry to scare u

[melanie]

aw,that does sound tough.yea,i reckon take her to a doc,have a chat about what direction to go in next.it does sound that all this has had an effect on her for sure,or is she having trouble at school? but i would think its more from the arguements and stuff she has seen.so i would just take her to see docter and see what they say on the matter.good luck.x

[emmal20]

gud luck hun

[happyhappylady]

i have talked to her about sexual abuse .. in that i said no-one should touch her between her legs, not even daddy or anyone she likes, and if they did she should tell me, so I don't think it is that. but her teacher has said for the last few weeks she has not been herself and her behaviour is sliding, so i have made an appointment for the doc for this thurs.

[mumofmonsters]

it could just be an age thing, ive had someting similar with my daughter, also named jess, and now she is fine, but occasionally ignores me or is in a world of her own. My friend is also having this problem at the moment and has a settled home life, hopefully its the same for you, just her age, hope it gets better and its just an easy problem and solution.

[stacy_elise]

oh must b such a hard situation 2 b in hun. i dunno how i could cope with the prssure of all this, i hope things get sorted and ure daughter is ok at the end of this. x

[Sirk]

My oldest wouldn't listen to me the first 2 times either when she was that age.
It could be nothing and just her age, it could be issues from the prior relationship. I say when in doubt, help can't hurt.

[Hazelnutz]

Hi there, sorry to hear what you are going through, my daughter is now 9 but I split from her dad when she was 6. I find it hard to get through to her most days! I discussed my concerns with the school nurse and the school counsellor which helped a great deal in the understanding of her behaviour at least, hope this helps x