i lost my son to forced adoption

Beccie86 · #1 10-31-2009, 04:30 AM

alright girls, i'm 23 with two girls and a third on the way but i had a baby boy when i was 17 and he was taken from me for adoption as social services said i was unfit to be a mum at that time. i never really wanted a boy if i'm honest but i ended up with one and then had him taken from me, i often think about him and wonder what my life would be like with him in it. i love my girls and happy to have them, prefer girls to boys! but i still can't help but wonder and feel slightly sad. i did fight to keep him, case went to family court but judge decided to have him adopted. when he made the decision i just sat there and smiled and listened calmy and when he asked me if i understood i said 'yes sir' when he asked if i had anything to say i said 'not much i can say Sir' i was totally in shock. as times gone on i've learnt to live with it better but it still hurts sometimes. its hard to lose a child to adoption because you know that they are alive and out there somewhere and you can't see them, it drives me nuts, it really kills sometimes.i just focus on my girls and that helps

i hope i don't have anymore boys. i'm about to have my third girl so might leave it there.

just wanted to get this off my chest i guess, i don't talk about it much to anyone.

Charlie_x · #2 10-31-2009, 08:10 AM

well this little boy would 6 now, im sorry to hear he was taken away from you can i ask why socail services thought u was a unfit mother? you wont be judge here hun x

Beccie86 · #3 10-31-2009, 08:21 AM

The father was a bit violent and was also taking drugs. i did leave him but he kept harressing me. The baby was taken away from me at 4 months. they thought i was encouraging him and that he was a threat to my baby. i tried to explain that he wouldn't leave me alone. i didn't want a baby at 17 but when i had one i didn't want him taken away but it happened.

Charlie_x · #4 10-31-2009, 06:53 PM

im sorry to hear tht hun x

CoNFuSeD24 · #5 11-01-2009, 04:34 PM

Ohhh my sorry to hear about your son. Have you thought about going to look for him etc?

claribel · #6 11-01-2009, 06:18 PM

sorry to hear that. if you'd like to meet him then you could look into it but you might have to wait until he is 18, not really sure. it's ok if you don't though and just have that occasional 'i wonder...' thought. he'll be in good hands and he'll understand the circumstances when he's older. adoption isn't the worst thing to happen to someone, i'm adopted and i'm alright...ish lol only joking

Beccie86 · #7 11-02-2009, 05:10 AM

i can't see him till he is 18 and even then its only if he wants to see me. but ya know i'm ok about it now, i wasn't at the time but now i am. at least i have my girls now and i kinda never really wanted a boy, i don't like boys much. yeah i loved him cos he was my son but i can live with losing a son but i'd be much more upset if i'd lost a daughter. is that wrong?

claribel · #8 11-02-2009, 06:08 PM

no not really, depends if somethings happened in the past involving a boy, atm it sounds to me like uve had bad experiences with them