already out the relationship

[marieelizabeth]

i left my husband about a year and a half ago, my baby was about 8 months when we moved out, i knew when my son was born was born i had to leave my husband, he made my skin crawl, hated everything about him and resented him for how much my life had changed since being with him.

I now have what i wanted, my own place, my own life back, living kind of where i wanted but i am more down than ever! i am not doubting my decision to leave, i hate the guy and would never go back there but i cant seem to get happy.

no one around me has any idea how i feel, ive got a very strong independant "happy with my life" front that i put on. i have one close friend but i dont see her very much maybe every couple of weeks, she doesnt live near by. i have lived here for over a year and still no friends, the only people realy in my life is my mum and my son. i am close to my mum i supose but i cant open up to her or tell her how i feel. ive kept all this to myself for ages and feel a bit strange posting it on the internet to strangers but i'll give it shot.

i dont really know what im looking for by posting this, i dont even know what would make me happier, i just seem to be down all the time, il be happy for a day or two then its back to being down again, i hate the way i look, i hate how skint i am all the time, i am gratefull for my son and our health but i would just like a happier life. am i the only person feling like this?

[rara]

Hi there. You really sound down in the dumps you poor love.

From what Ive read I think you really must talk to someone about the way you are feeling. Your mum would be the best. I know its hard to admit things aren't as rosey as you've painted, but Mums have this knack of understanding and reassuring your fears. She would be more annoyed a few years down the line that you didnt turn to her when you needed someone.

If you really cannot talk to your mum, go along to your GP. The Gp is virtually a stranger anyway and can often be easier to open up to about your feelings.

Need to chat, just give me a shout. All the best hun. xx

[marieelizabeth]

thanks for your reply, i'll maybe try the doc, i just know they will offer me pills and im trying really hard to avoid that but i'll give it a shot.

[c.a.cullum]

1st things 1st... there r many out there who at one time or another feels exactly how u r feeling now!!! i can almost guarantee that 9 out of 10 women on this site have bouts of depression!!!

good on u for getting out of a reationship u dint wanna b in as this is a huge sign of just how strong u r!!! too many wud not leave as they wud b frightened of being on their own but u have got thru the hard part and have began a long journey! whether u r single or married we all find it difficult at times and i think the best thing for u 2do is to talk to some1... it only keeps ur head under water if u keep it to urself... talking to some1 lets u take a breathe!!

just dont eva feel u r alone coz u r not!! and if u feel ur depression is taking ova ur life get urself to ur gp!!

also another good thing is to keep urself busy... mayb take up a hobby... and now the sunshine is bak just go to the park of for a walk.. coz if u r cooped up at home it'l only make u feel more suffocated... u will get thru this and u wil come out smiling... just keep looking at ur babe!!

sending u best wishes and if u need to chat we r all here!!

Hi MarieElizabeth, I'm Debi, 26, mum of 4! Welcome to the site.
Sorry to hear about all your troubles, everybody has ups and downs and it's perfectly normal but getting some support might help you. That doesn't necessarily mean you have to take pills, but knowing there's places to go and people to see might help. And if all else fails, we're always hear for a chat or a rant!

[clare bear]

hey chick things will change for the best on day. i went through mega deppression at times i got to the front door and i would shake at the though that i had to go outside, i went to see my doc he put me on happy pills, i spoke to my dad about it he told me the best thing to do was to flush them down the loo, which i did. it took some time to get over it all but i did it on my own.yea i still have mega down days where i sit and cry and get it out of my system. a good cry really helps me. your neva on your own chick we are all here for you. chin up hey

[marieelizabeth]

thanks, you are all very nice people, i definitely helps to get it all out, thanks for the advice.