bad realtionship

sunneydale · #1 01-10-2007, 08:25 AM

yeah ive been stuck in a realtionship for 12 years. The first 5 years or so i wanted to be with him even though he treated me like shit. After having the son he always wanted but ignores because he is a mummy's boy so he says i have been trying to finish it with him. he treats me like shit i do everything around the house the kids are totally left for me to take care of even the bloody dogs he wanted are left for me to look after. i have asked him to move out but he keeps saying he needs to save up first for a car and deposit for a flat. All the while living off me i pay all the bills pay for all shopping, everything for the kids (well i always have) now i carnt seem to get rid of him i know im too soft and i dont want to hurt him and i feel sorry for him as im making him leave his kids (not that he did anything with them before) i just dont know how to make him see i no longer want a realtionship with him there is nothing there anymore. what can i do ? And i dont want anyone else i just want to be on my own with my kids im sick of men lol lol

Blondie · #2 01-10-2007, 08:59 AM

In my opinion the only thing you can do is put your foot down and make him get out. He will never bother to save for that deposit or that car because he thinks he can walk all over you.

It will be hard but you cant waste your life on this loser. You dont want to look back on more wasted years.

blankie · #3 01-11-2007, 01:07 PM

i went through the same thing with my ex husband,in the end i told him i didnt love him,then packed his bags.when he arrived from work one night i told him their are your bags now piss off.He did.you just have to be firm

becky · #4 01-11-2007, 01:15 PM

i agree with blondie, he wont save as long as he thinks he can take the piss out of you by liveing of your money! why wont he work?

tell him to sod of, life is far to short to be in a relationship with some1 you dont wanna be in!

Im sure when your son is older enough to understand, he will.

Theres no point in haveing him in your home if there is no feelings there!i know its hard, the thought of throwing him out, never being the same again, but its something you have to do, if not for your sake, then for the sake of your son!

nikki · #5 01-12-2007, 06:34 PM

I agree, I think the best thing you can do is send him on his way. He will not grow up and start taking care of himself as long as he has a free ride with you. At this point he sees no reason too.

sunneydale · #6 01-19-2007, 04:41 PM

well i finally gathered up enough courage to give him his marching orders and he says he isnt going! i have made it so difficult for him here and miserable i hoping he will get fed up with it and leave. im trying to get a house exchange to move away i have told him he can see his kids when ever he likes after i have moved but hes told me that i will have to bring them to him as he is not drivng all that way 4 times. i have also been told by my son that he he has said if i kick him out before i get a move he will make sure my mate who was going to move me dosent and if he does he will beat the shit out of him. what a b*******d i carnt believe he is going to make it that bad for me it turns out he is just like all the rest

becky · #7 01-19-2007, 06:19 PM

i feel sorry for you, i really do. Alot of men are so kind and gentle, and then theres the big headed barstead type, that make alot of other men sick! can you not arrange to get another friend to move you, but keep it hush hush from hubby and your kids untill the time comes?
Seems to me, if you let him know everything, his going to make it so hard for you hun!

mumof3 · #8 01-25-2007, 11:23 AM

Sounds like you should be firm, I tried to kick an ex of mine out but he refused to go, in the end I called the police and he was made to leave, after that I had 12 happy months of being by myself, go for it girl!!!

topcat31 · #9 01-25-2007, 12:30 PM

my ex husband was hard to get rid of,i made his life hell i never cooked for him washed his clothes and every time he came in i went out i made him sleep downstairs.when he finally did leave i met some one else and he thought he could try his bully tactics with him big mistake,he thought because i used to cower when he raised his fists to me he could try it with my new man.i havent seen my ex for 6 years now and he doesnt want anything to do with his kids because they take after me,but there not bothered they have a very loving step father who they call dad,as far im concerned he can rot in hell.some men belive we are here to serve them and you will find they are to scared to go it alone cowards.

becky · #10 01-25-2007, 01:08 PM

Hi topcat, glad to hear you got out of your relationship!

So many women get trapped! Shame he dosent want to see his kids tho, but with it being that way, at least you havent got to see him!

Anyone who is in a bad relationship should get out as early as they can, because it never gets better!

Alot of men can be such bullies, give them a chest and muscles of iron to bussly, and they would coward and run off. these men that bully women are just pure whimps!