I'm so miserable, but he won't leave

[northwalesmummy]

I've been with my oh for 10 years and at first everything was wonderful. 6 months after we got married he became ill and had to stop working and he hasn't worked since.

He's ALWAYS in the house and only goes out to shops twice a week. He's always yelling and moaning at me and the kids.

I have a daughter from a previous relationship and she says she hates him.

Nothing is ever good enough for him and I dread waking up in the morning. He's not the man I married!!! We've tried counselling and marriage groups but nothing has worked. I've asked him to leave as me and my daughter are miserable but he says he won't leave and that if I leave he'll make sure he gets custody of our little boy. I just don't know what to do any more.

[c.a.cullum]

huni u got2 do wot is best for u and ur children... as for him getting custody... well personally i think it sunds very unlikely!! but get legal advice if need b!!!

i hope u figure out something soon and it all works out 4u!! take care hun!!

[northwalesmummy]

Hi

thanks for your reply, I think I will get legal advice, I just don't know what to do as he's threatend to tell lies about me and our little boy is very close to his dad and he might take it quite badly. I think I need to do alot of soul searching and get more advice, but thank you for your support, it is much appreciated!!!

[clare bear]

hi ya chic sorry to hear you are at a loss, but chic its true you have to do whats best for the kids and you. go get that advice and then decide. hope it all works out chic.

[pinky29]

hi hun sorry to hear your feeling this way. but charley's right you have to do whats best for your children & yourself. it may be hard but sometimes we have to make difficult descions in life...if it were me i would leave & start a new life for myself & my children. as for him going on about custady etc unless you are a unfit mother i'm sure it wouldn't come to him having control of the children for one thing he's ill.
as for the counciling without sounding rude i personally don't think it works it's just a way of ammitting that the relationship is over if that makes sense.
good luck hun & remember we are all here for you anytime x

[northwalesmummy]

hi,
thanks for all your support, I know what you're saying is true, it's just a case of taking that first scary step. I just wish I had a time machine so I could go back to the day we met and tell him where to go lol. Thank you for saying you're all there for me.

[♥ Kerry ♥]

hun seriously just leave him or if its ur house tell him to leave as its ur place and u decide who stays there. as for getting custody, unless ur doing drugs etc its unlikely that a dad gets custody over the mum when she has done nothing wrong, so next time he threatens u with it tell him to take u to court as he wont win x

[krazykezz]

hey hun sorry to hear u have been having a horrible time lately, as for this hell put in for custody nonsense, he wont win unless ur prostituting, taking drugs, hurting the kids etc, which ur not so theres no need to fear that hes going to take ur boy away, if u want to leave him just do it, he probably just saying it to make u stay with him. i dunno its all upto u hun. do what u have to do

[happyhappylady]

I've been there!! was with my ex 16 years. He wouldn't leave, so when he was out a grabbed a few basics and left with the kids to stay at a friends - though I would have gone to a refuge if my friend couldn't have me. It was the best thing I have ever done! he also threatened custody, but my solicitor said 'no chance' - and yours wouldn't have either. It annoys me that he's in my house, but I am getting divorced and the courts will have to sort it out. Leaving him was wonderful, like being let out of a prison. You go girl! good luck!

[emmal20]

to be honest my mum has put up wiv my dad for 25yr because his prob wiv alcohol and attempted to leave but scince his whipp lash and operation hes realy on edge and pics on us all i hope u both get better