with my decision made the wheels started turning!! i went to the family planning clinic and the done an internal scan!! they also performed about 6other internal tests!! it was horrible!! i never felt so ashamed in mylife!! the lady gave me leaflets on different procedures!! i cudnt believe they were giving me a choice on how to end my babies life!! my mum helped me decide!! i got a date thru for wen it wud all b taking place!! 8th october!! the day arrived! i had to go to the hospital in the morning! my mum came with me!! the dr came to see me.. she inserted 2tablets in2 me!! it took hours before my time came round!! i was the youngest on the ward and i just didnt look at anyone.. hardly 2words passed between me and my mum!! the dr came back and said its time to go thru!! i follwed her in2 the pre op room... a lady injected me and i now just had to wait to go to sleep!! i remeber hearing the drs in the op room and also i was still awake wen they were washing their hands and getting ready!! i thought i\\\\\\\'d never go to sleep!! the next thing i knew i was being woke up!! asi woke i cried and the 1st thought that came in2 my head was \\\\\\\'never ever again!!!\\\\\\\' i had to wait a couple of hours.. and this is when my dad picked us up!! i was in agony... this lasted for almost a week!! i hardly spoke to any1!! my family were amazing tho!! my mum really looked after me and not one of my family judged me in a bad way!! a year after this happened i didnt have periods and the drs thought i was going thru the menopause!! so doubts came in2 my mind about my decision!! i was never going to be a mum!! and it was my fault!! i promised my baby that i wud make something of my life!! i studied hard and got 10 GCSE\\\\\\\'s and went on to getting 3 A\\\\\\\'Levels!! i am still determined to become a success so that baby was not sacrificed in vain!! i cried regularly for the loss of my baby for years.. actually until the day my daughter amy was born!! and the amazing thing is.. i had the abortion wen the baby was 8weeks inside me!! wen i went for my dating scan with amy it worked out that i was the same far gone!! on 8th oct 2003 it worked out i was 8weeks as i was on 8th oct 2000!! i feel i made the right decision for me at that time!! i now have 2beautiful children and one on the way!! i have a loving husband and really couldnt ask for more!! i wud never go thru that experience again and any1 whos been thru it or going thru it!! make sure its ur decision... becoz its ur life and u r the one who has to wake everyday with the memories!! im almost positive that the ex of mine doesnt think about it as i do!!