Getting your head (and more realistically, your nether regions) around labour and birth is daunting, but something inescapable…we have to do it to get our babies. So I have racked my brains and put together some helpful tips, advice and my own experience for you all to have a gander at.

Firstly, I can’t recommend a Labour Bag enough; it was an absolute life saver! When you make out yours (preferably a month before your due date, so as to avoid a panicked rush) try to include the following as they really will be needed: -
Labour Bag List
• 2 baggy night shirts or t-shirts (a fresh one will be a good idea as you will get the one you wear very dirty)
• A comfortable change of clothes for your journey home
• At least 10 of the extra thick maternity pads
• About 6 pairs of knickers (think Bridget Jones ladies as the comfort will be needed, especially in the case of a c-section)
• An old, dark towel
• 5 sleep suits
• 5 vests
• At least 10 nappies
• An outfit for your baby to travel home in (making sure to include a hat and scratch mittens/gloves and a shawl)
• A wash bag (toothbrush, toothpaste, shower gel, soft sponge, deodorant etc)
• Snacks ( high energy foods, like tracker bars that you can eat through your labour, even if you don’t feel like eating, it is important to keep your energy up. The same goes for drinks. I took chocolate, tracker bars, squash-just take a big bottle of concentrate, the hospital will provide the water). Sandwiches can be bought at the hospital or your birthing partner can nip out for them.
Deciding who you want as your birth partner before your due date is a good idea too. My husband was mine and he was fantastic. He was so supportive and was by my side every minute (ahem, except when nature called, obviously).

Contractions are basically tightening of the uterus. It means that baby is ready to be introduced to the world. When you think that your contractions are the real thing (and not those pesky Braxton Hicks- or as I called them, Branston Pickles) if you feel up to it and have a pretty good tolerance for them, maybe try having a warm bath before you go to the hospital. Generally, the bath will either encourage them if they are proper contractions or taper them off if it’s more of a trial run.

Now, for the embarrassing stuff. In my opinion there is no such thing as a dignified labour and birth. I had so many internal checks while I was in the hospital that by the end of it I didn’t know whether to talk or moo. About 30 minutes in I was walking about half nude with just a white vest top on that had gone see through anyways (I spent most of my labour in a birthing pool). And ladies, I can assure you that these people will not be fazed by…how do I put this…an aux-natural lady garden (hope that worked). They have seen every possible style and shape. Personally I recommend no hair as I just felt cleaner with nothing there to get matted with blood etc. And the other red faced factor is poop. Yes some women poo, yes I did and the midwives are very professional about it. They just clean it up and carry on. Nature needs to clear the body out and when you push, the pressure on your colon will expel anything that needs to be evicted anyway. At the end of the day, your bits and bobs will be waving about in the air for the majority so I found it best to just grin and not let it bother me. A sense of humour is crucial

The pains of labour and birth are difficult to explain. Janet from 2 Pints of Lager hit the nail on the head I think…like an umbrella is being opened in your bum. Yes, labour does hurt as does birth, but women have done it for centuries and will continue to. And I felt so empowered when I gave birth…I felt like He-man! And just remember, you can do it. Pain relief is there to be used too…if you feel that you need more than just gas and air, don’t be afraid to ask for it. You can have gas and air, pethadine (an injection), TENS machine, and epidural. Your midwife will be able to give you information on all of these too. I had gas and air and a shot of pethadine, and my husband tells me that I was waffling on about penguins in kilts between contractions!

When you’re ready to push your baby out, you don’t have to lie on your back. You can be on all fours or kneeling which allows gravity to help a little too. There are always options and make sure you do what you want to, and don’t get pushed into something that maybe you are against. When the baby crowns some women either tear or need an episiotomy. As frightening as that sounds, with the pain of labour anyway, I doubt you would notice a little cut, and it’s only done to help if it’s needed. Basically it’s just to help the baby’s head out and an episiotomy is easier to sew than a tear.

If you make sure to tell the midwife delivering you baby, your husband or boyfriend can cut the umbilical cord. Mine did and he’s glad (but warns other men, that it’s tougher than it looks, he he). When your baby is delivered it can be put straight to the breast if you wish (and all assuming that the birth was straight forward), and as someone that did this, I can vouch for it being amazing. I’m sure that the vast majority would agree with me in saying that all the pain and hard work is 100% worth it for the amazing bundle you get at the end. Your little baby. It’s a wonderful (and in my case, slightly soggy as my daughter promptly peed on me) feeling when you hold your baby for the first time. Welcome to the world to all those babies being born.