From the min i found out i was pregnant i was over the moon, a bit nervous but that was to be expected, when i told every one the news they were all happy to have a grandchild on the way first for Steves family but third for mine, any way through the pregnancy i was getting told \\\\\\\"when you have the baby you\\\\\\\'l have to give it to people to look after so it doesn\\\\\\\'t get to attached to you\\\\\\\" all i could think was hoew dare you tell me what to do with my child, I got over that by not letting any one in on how i felt i kept most of it most of the time i told steve the dad to be how i felt and he felt the same way so he understood everything i was feeling, by the time i was due to give birth i was feeling like i was putting a block up to th outside, the day came when i went in to labour and i loved it sounds strange yes but i did all six hours of it not bad for a first, i gave birth to a baby girl at 14.08pm weighing in at 6lb 1oz, we phoned the family and friends to let them know we were all ok and by the time 3pm came both sets of grand parents were in the labour room i\\\\\\\'m covered in blood from top to toe as the cord snapped on the way out the Erin was being cooed at by every one and i didn\\\\\\\'t mind, untill my dad said so when can i have her?? well i thaught thats just great she\\\\\\\'s only 1 hour old and you are asking that, but the inlaws said the same thats what we would like to know, i just laughed it off and said nothing. i wanted to breast feed the baby when she arrived but when i was going to i had company, steves dad kept saying that babys hungry, all i wanted to say is i know this if you left i would do it but being polite i didn\\\\\\\'t say anything. For the first couple of weeks you get loads of visitors which i didn\\\\\\\'t mind, but being told time and time again that i needed to let her go and be looked after was driving me up the wall, the day came when i decided to let someone look after he when i went to the gym, Steves mum and dad came round it was a nice day and when they walked in i got \\\\\\\"leave ya pram\\\\\\\" i said no so she asked again leave ya pram thinking i was joking, again i said no, i got the daggrs off the dad and the question why off the mum, i said im not happy leaving her so i dont really want you to take her out, sorry! but what i didn\\\\\\\'t tell them was i hadn\\\\\\\'t felt like i had bonnded the way i should of as a mum, so why should they bond when i hadn\\\\\\\'t its all around the breast feeding thing because i left it too late to feed when they were in the hospital wouldn\\\\\\\'t then when i did try she wouldn\\\\\\\'t latch on, i failed her or so i felt anyway.i wasn\\\\\\\'t depressed or anything i just felt like i had failed. now Erin is 14 month old and the bond we have is the greatest even though shes a daddys girl i feel i have achieved much more being a mum and that makes me so proud,