I was seventeen when I became pregnant, it was the 60s and times were so much different then,to be unmarried and keep a child was a no no.My parents went mad when they found out,so I thought it a good idea when my babies father wanted to get married,and we went to the register office and chose the date,how easy it would have been to go through with it,but I just couldnt,I realized too late he was not for me,and how he would have made my life hell.I was taken by my mother to see a social worker who made arrangements to put me in a mother and baby home,and also for adoption of my baby.The first day I arrived I was taken to a room on the top floor this had 6 beds the room was shared by the pregnant girls,the middle floor was for the girls who had already had there babies and the ground floor was the dining room,kitchen and the nusery.The work of the pregnant girls was to put out the breakfast dishes for the morning, to do the washing up and hoovering,the rest of the day was ours which meant just sitting around reading,or in the garden.One day a week the vicar would come to talk to us read a passage from the bible,I suppose it made the clergy feel better,done nothing for us.Every sunday morning we had to walk down the road to church,where we would all sit together so must have made us look like fallen woman,and the rest of the congregation giving us little side long glances.The day arrived when my pains began,I was given some kind of pill by the matron,later with the other girls all saying good bye or see you later,I was taken by ambulance to hospital.I was to have a 6lb 4oz baby girl,a couple of the other girls were admitted and had there baby.My older sister came to visit also my mum,I thought seeing her grand-daughter would make her say \\\\\\\"you and the baby had better come home\\\\\\\" but she never did.One of the girls was sent to pick me up and get a cab to take us both back to the home.Every one knows the love you feel for a child,I tried so hard to feel nothing to hold back the love thought I had managed too.For 6 weeks they let us feed bath, cloth and take the babies out in the prams to bond, they then tell you one day that the baby will be going in the morning, just like that.Most had a social worker who would arrive and take the baby away leaving the young mum to sob her heart out,most of us would cry with her knowing soon it would be our turn.Then it was my turn the night before I was told,except in my case I took the baby to the home laid her in a cot and then just had to walk away,I wish I hadnt, but I looked round at her and I really believe she turned and looked at me,we took the underground plus 2 other trains I was so out of it I cannot say where I was taken.I got back to the home where my mother was already waiting I walked by her up the stairs and I broke down I cried like I never cried before or since and was held by a couple of the other girls,who cried with me.Writing this I want to cry,to this day I cry when I talk about her.This happened when I was seventeen I am now sixty one,it will never stop hurting.So when I see a young unmarried mum,no matter what hard ship she is going through she is still lucky.