I was 16 when i was raped by an ex-boyfriend, 4wks later i realised i hadn\\\\\\\'t had a period. I brought a home pregnancy kit which confirmed i was pregnant. I was so scared i didn\\\\\\\'t want anyone to know, i tried to deny it to myself. If i believed it wasn\\\\\\\'t true then it wouldn\\\\\\\'t be. I finally had to tell my parents when i was 7mths gone. They took it really badly. My dad kicked me out of the house i was 16 pregnant and very scared. I moved in with my grandparents until the council found me a flat to live in. I went into labour just after my 17th birthday alone. I was in labour for 26 long, painful hours. I lost soo much blood that i needed a transfusion, my iron level dropped really low that i could stand up. My son was rushed into special care unit. It was a lonely and scary time for me. Coming home from the hospital was daunting, suddenly i was a child looking after a child. I had this little person depending on me for everything. I sunk so far into a black hole i couldn\\\\\\\'t get out. My parents came round after the birth, so when mathew was 6 months old because of my depression he had to go and live with them for a while for his own safety. I Never hit him but i came to close for comfort. I was and still am constantly angry although i control it a lot better now. When Mathew was 2 i met my husband and i have never met a more understanding and gentle man in my life, 6 months later i fell pregnant for the second time (my depression still hadn\\\\\\\'t got any better) and now i had double the stress. If it wasn\\\\\\\'t for my husband i wouldn\\\\\\\'t be here today. Mathew is 9 now and my depression still hasn\\\\\\\'t been treated. I take anti-depressants and visit a shrink twice a month but my moods are still low. I have been through a lot but i know i have to get better for both my sons sake.